Obsessions

I've been so fixated on the dog and the house that i haven't managed to talk about artsy things in a long time....today i found this glorious paper store....

which makes me so jealous of cities where there are fancy papers....and letterpress stationary stores. (i got a fabulous handwritten card from my niece on some). Or beautiful fabrics. Or Crate and Barrel.

crazy go i if care don't i 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

did you ever sing that song when you were little? I don't care if i go crazy 1-2-3-4-5-6-switch....
anyways, i feel a little as though that is where we are at. Adam and i are taking this massive leap of faith that the house will be done with repairs this week and we can get in by Friday---seeing as we have less than 2 weeks to get out of the apartment, clean it and reclaim the deposit we already spent on rugs and:

What is that, you ask? Oh!, that's adam on the other side of the tree he decided we needed to have behind the new bed so that we can live in a forest. Seriously. We spent most of Saturday driving around Anchorage theoretically in search of a living room rug, but apparently in search of a "rug that looks like the forest floor" because "we are going to sleep in a forest." Oh boy. You'll understand when the pictures of before and after get posted--assuming there is a before and after. It ended in success after we realized Fred Meyer (my happy place) was having a 50% off area rug sale for Mother's Day---enabling us to get rugs for the whole house for the price we were planning to spend on just two. AH-MAY-ZING.

In the meantime, we had to get the tree back to the apartment--which basically looks like it threw up everything we ever owned into the living room. Neah is not impressed. We have cut down her 500 sq feet of lounge space to about 200 with all the clutter. And, she's afraid of the boxes when they are flattened on the floor and won't walk on them....so either she jumps or she whines because she got stuck somewhere in the box maze.

Dear Housing Goddess, PLEASE.

hmmm...solutions not requiring cesar milan?

Yesterday at dog class Neah was riled up. She acted aggressively towards a Samoyed who was staring at her. Recognizing that clearly Adam and I are the problem--not because we are fearful or anxious but simply because she doesn't trust us as leaders--her new teacher took half an hour to show us various exercises we can do with her. Some will be easy to implement, some more challenging. A lot of them we have been trying to do for a long time without obvious success. It is hard to redouble your efforts when you feel thwarted.

The thing with Neah was that she was always anxious. She was skittish from the get go. We coddled her and weren't there for her when she got chased by a skier, didn't get her out enough with other dogs her first winter because of the car-sickness, etc. So, now, we are paying the price. Less affection, more discipline. Which of course is hard because she is really really lovable. We hear it will take three times as long to undo the damage we have managed to do in the last year. There are lots of hindsight things here---from not getting the excitable independent dog all the way through to not letting her off leash as a tiny puppy in the park. hindsight, sadly, is always 20-20.

For starters, we have to teach her that her name means good things...not the "Neah" which is accompanied by some yelling about why she's barking at passing bi-peds. We have to get her exercise where there is NO ONE around. She's not allowed on trails with others, etc. Ok. so where in Alaska in a 50 mile radius are we possibly going to locate a trail without people on it. Shoot me now. And how on earth are we meant to take her biking without seeing anyone---EVERYONE in this state plays outside in the summer.

Personally, I am hoping that the new house will be a fresh start. We can lay down clear ground rules from the start and that the change of venue, accompanied by a change of authority, can promote positive things. But laying out new rules starts tonight....so say a lil prayer for us.

Warning: semi-graphic pictures.

warning: Semi graphic photos below.

We've talked about it a few times. See here and here, But admittedly, i have been hiding from the interwebs the full extent of the issue. our cute, loving aussie is deathly afraid new situations and new people. she's been like this since we got her--but now that fear is complicated by protectiveness. i know i exaggerate a lot...but this isn't one of those times when embellishment is required for dramatic effect.

Yesterday was a beautiful, sunnyish day. Adam's softball team had a double header after work and he's been shouldering the neah exercise burden lately....so i decided to take her to the park to play frisbee. we pulled up and i saw this little 3 year old running around with a mostly inattentive mother. I tried driving to another park, but there were people playing baseball, so i decided that if i could just get far enough onto the frisbee area it would probably be okay.

Neah was so happy and excited. She loves frisbee. She loves to run. We were still on leash walking towards an open part of the field when she started growling. i turned around and saw the little three year old running towards us with it's mother and sister at distance watching. I started yelling, "no, go away, she's not friendly" frantically shaking my head, but the kid kept coming. The kid kept charging toward her with open arms and Neah became more frantic barking, growling and rearing up.

When the kid was finally about 2 feet from Neah, the supervisory units finally realized what was happening and sauntered our direction. Neah was fit to be tied--red zone kinda crazy--and what happened to be between her and this small idiot happened to be me. I felt her teeth sink in and knew it was going to be bad. She recoiled instantly--realizing she had gotten me by accident. I wrangled her between my legs and pulled her muzzle on--dripping blood onto my flipflopped feet and the ground. I yelled at the supervisory unit of the small idiot to get it away from her already. To which the sibling shrugged and the kid started screaming because he couldn't pet Neah.

I managed to get back to the car and find one of the 3 first aid kits i keep in it. i hadn't realized how challenging it is to open stuff with out thumbs. Once the bleeding was contained we went home and i went to the doctor. I finally had a full blown attack of the crying martha when i got in the car to go to the doctor's office and of course couldn't get a hold of adam.

There's something to be said about facebook knowing you are hurt before  your spouse does. I am not sure what it is though.

The poor little monster got three of her sharp teeths in my thumb. The most painful of which is the top one that went into the knuckle and the most infected of which appear this morning to be the bottom ones. My right thumb has swollen to three times the size of the left one and am praying the augmentin does it's magic.

I'm mad at that kid's mom for letting it run toward a barking snarling animal. i'm mad there isn't a single dog park in anchorage that is fenced---so there's no where i can take her that bikes don't ride through. and i am especially pissed off that my thumb got hurt before the big move. ----doing anything useful with it is VERY difficult.

The reality of the situation is that neah avoided me for the rest of the night....keeping her head down in shame when she saw me. I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at myself for putting her in a position where she didn't feel safe. She was still worried this morning that i didn't love her anymore. It breaks my heart. She's not a mean dog--she's scared and i don't know what to do to help that.

just when you think all's clear.

since the blog is now a chronicle of a first time home buyer's nightmares, why stop now. After making about a dozen calls this week to make sure that all repairs would be done by noon today so that we could do final wlk through with our home inspector ahead of tuesday's closing...i should have known we were in for trouble when adam and i drove up and found not one (the home inspector's) but five contractor trucks outside.

Luckily, Kevn (our guy) was already looking around--checking and double checking. There were a number of things that needed fixed.

Here's the comedy of error's list:

1. The windows all needed to have the glass fixed/replaced. One window was done but there were three more to go. 
2. The gutter guys had accidentaly put the new gutter on the wrong section of the roof. Kevin caught it and they were fixing it. 
3. The sliding door opens again...but it is still sticky and i spent a while glaring at it. 
4. Which leads us to the not so comic error. Kevin goes back into the crawl space to make sure all the stuff we found last time had been fixed only to discover the reason the door is all effed up is because there's a rotting joist under there. Believe me, i was feeling like we were in an episode of Holmes on holmes. UCK.

so, here we are with 4 days till "closing" 'rotting joists and me looking sad.

wishful thinking please.

House fotos and a rant....

More home pictures. we love the open layout. behind the photographer is a wall of northern facing windows.  Believe you me, i will be redoing the fireplace someday soon.

Now. on to the Friday rant....

i know that there are things i can and cannot control in this world. i can't convince my amazing girlfriends that they are incredible mothers, despite the fact that they are. I can't convince my dog that she doesn't have to guard us all the time. and i can't convince the universe that patchouli is not a scent that should be worn in public ever. e.v.e.r.

There are a few things i should be able to convince people of though. So here's a list:

1. all of the above; and
2. that no one, ever, should come into a public bathroom with toenails that look like that haven't been cut since 1983. it is a rude shock to whoever tries to check out your shoes from the next stall, and it puts them in a difficult position to gag and be sick in. Seriously though, toenails should not look like teeth. rotten teeth. teeth that lived through perestroika. teeth that along with cockroaches are the only thing to have survived a nuclear blast.or maybe that's what happened...maybe the toes went through a nuclear blast---i don't actually care. they don't belong free and running wild in a bathroom.

Wednesdays....

Wednesdays are among other things: staff meeting days, veggie box from full circle days, middle of the week depression days, realization that i will be a big girl soon days.

This Wed is really no different. I have busted out the blue handmedown shoes i stole off Heidi years ago, am breaking my feet back into them now that there is not snow to thwart me, and got homeowner's insurance for the new casa. In case there was any doubt, the most important part of that last sentence was finding the blue shoes in their neah-proof hiding spot under the bed.

Yesterday, while sitting around a gorgeous table eating Fish tacos with a bunch of women i barely know, that in a month or two book club could, actually, really, truly, be at our HOUSE. Yes, book club.

If you know me you know i love to have house guests, company, people wandering about at all times. It is a hold over from the Motel-Tansik days in north carolina when one never knew who would appear overnight on the sofa or knock on the door asking for a shower, claiming some tenuous connection to one of us. Poor Courtney and Katie acquired me and then a house guest in a week span when i moved to Seattle and it was like a revolving door non-stop after that---including the infamous 3 month couch stay of one slightly faded version of Quddus.  It truly has been the bane of my stay up here that i am in this beautiful vacation destination with no where to house our friends and family.

Well, by God, that is about to change. There is a guest bedroom and a study and a shit load of floor space---all of which means i cannot wait to suddenly have a house full of people to make tea for and cook for and force to eat attempts at pastries.I have worked out a Neah solution involving cheese and a squueky toy. So bring it on!!!

Yes, i know this is a bad translation. Para mi mami Maria Alicia y Jenny: Hay muchas cosas que hacen en nuestro vida cada miercoles---reuniones para trabajo, comida desde washington, el medio de semana tristeza, y pensando sobre nuestro futuro.  Este miercoles esta lo mismo. Descubri mis zapaztos azules abajo de la cama, mis pies estan dolando por los, y compre seguridad (?) para la casa. Ayer pense que algun dia puedo tener gente en mi casa. Eso es super importante porque mis padres siempre tuvieron gente en la casa---no importe si supieron antes que la gente llegaron o no. En seattle, habia tenido gente en nuestro casa por siempre---y algien para 3 meses. Pero aqui no hemos tendio espacio para eso. En la casa nueva tendremos una cuarto para amigos y tambien un bibioteca que se cambiara a un otro cuarto de dormido tambien. Y tengo planes para la perrita con queso y regalitos. 


Entonces---visitanos!!!