Sunday, January 13, 2013

if it has eight eyes, it should die.

So i love Thailand because it is beautiful, and warm, and my skin doesn't feel all pins and needles from being too dry.

I love Thailand because the people are kind. PS--let's have a chat TSA in Seattle about not being assholes for no good reason, read no reason, on a sunday morning. PPS--why is everyone in the seattle airport a grump-tastic mess?

I love Thailand because i can eat a full meal for like $2.50 cents in the north. and eat more than my share of green curry i did.

I love Thailand because i can swim without feeling like i might die of hypothermia either in or after getting out of the water.

I love Thailand because i can find anything i could ever need in a market if i am willing to brave weekend craziness.

huntsman--the size of my hand.

I do not love thailand for these guys:
orb weaver (we think)















Anyone who knows my husband knows he likes to set the spiders free when we find them in the house. I, on the other hand, am pretty sure setting them free means they are going to return in my bed and eat me. therefore, all spiders should die--the sneaky bastards. so, when adam came into our treehouse in the Mae Taeng valley wilderness and announced that there was a huge spider in the bathroom, you have to understand i was legitimately concerned. he never, ever, calls spiders huge--even the orb weaver we saw earlier in the day that was like coffee cup sized.  define huge, i said. huge, said adam with a serious look on his face, hunting for something i had hoped would be used to kill the "huge" spider. instead, he picked up the camera (again, not a good sign) and my slipper (gifted to me by emma who stole it from some hotel and the current prized possession) and headed back to the adjoining outdoor bathroom. a flash and some banging ensued and adam returned to tell me he had scared it away. "it jumped out the back wall."

number one---WTF. since when do spiders the size of a chihuahua jump out a hole in the wall.
number two--the answer to where was it happened to be, oh right by the toilet.
number three--congratulations, instead of killing the spider, you now get to watch me pee for the rest of our stay in case the dog/spider returns.
number four--the next day at breakfast, he tells everyone how he had no idea where it went. nice. good job lying to your wife. uck.

2 comments:

  1. So was the huntsman the one in the bathroom? Those suckers take a third of a can of bug spray and about twenty minutes to kill. --little sister

    ReplyDelete
  2. because of where i live i now need to do frequent #SpiderGenocides. and let me say: when i declare the spectre of death to be commenced, i do so with extreme prejudice.

    there is a war coming bruce spyderayne.

    ReplyDelete