Wednesday, December 11, 2013

radio silence.

i know. it's been three months. i haven't had anything to say even though plenty was happening.
we were here and there and everywhere.  even that sounds totally unentertaining. let's start over.

These are the women of my family. Doing what we home, down south, in ATL.

I am a mere few thousand miles away from crossing into the MVP Gold Status on Alaska.  I have never wanted anything so badly for reasons I cannot explain because this new luggage tag and special boarding powers will result in little tangible benefit. But let me tell you, I will manage it.  Adam once alleged that he was MVP Gold.  (To be clear: HE IS NOT BUT LIES AND TELLS EVERYONE HE IS). He says that it means that when you get off the plane there is a gold plated litter waiting to carry you to baggage claim, that you are fanned with peacock feather palm leaves on the plane, and that if you ordered orange juice it would be squeezed freshly and served in a chalice.  Ok, he might have only said the first one and that you get a crown, but I think the point is the same. i NEED this. Like Q needs drugs and neah needs pig ears. MUST HAVE GOLD.

While speaking about Neah must haves, winter came late here, but despite that we have gone through like 72 booties for the Neah dog. She needs these because she is an athlete. A runner. She can't help it and so she ends up with bloody paws from running on ice if she doesn't wear booties. Dog booties are expensive--new pet peeve for sure.  The "disposable booties" were no more than velcro anklets ten minutes after she began running.  One day, i'm just going to spend all day writing reviews of dog booties. The new ones are dope, they look like anklet booties and have a felty material on the bottom so she can get better traction....she's fast. let me tell you. five points to the pimp dog shoes.

Travelling for work is wonderful. Well, not the part where i want to bang my head on things because of irrational behavior, or the part where my flights get delayed, but definitely the part where upgrades are free and i get to see my girls.

Last week, i spent with Ms. Mossayeb and Ms. Molai in Palm Springs and San Fran, respectively.  It was Ms. Molai's birfday. There was Karaoke, a comedy show, delicious food, sightseeing, stairmaster, and LOTS of laughter.

I know, you are starting to think that i only blog about adventures with this girl, but the truth is that i just save up so that i sound like i have this fascinating adventurous life that is really just a series of lucky breaks.

T minus two weeks till America del sur!!

Friday, August 23, 2013

H to the awaii case you didn't know...i love that this woman met me in Maui and that she rolled up in this PIMP mobile:

and you better believe those men RAN to help her get out of the car and lei-her.

It's been months in the making, this little adventure of ours, the one where we run away, leave loved ones at home and pretend that the world has rolled back to 2005 and we are on the beach in Eilat sipping limonanas.  Except now, make that virgin pina-coladas and we are almost a decade older, she's a decade more buff, and i am a decade more sleep deprived.

there was a shark attack the day we arrived about a half mile down the beach.  it's been all over cnn, so you probably saw that the young lady didn't make it.  it gave us a little perspective about how lucky we've been--literally through wars with rockets, moves back to the US, and marriages.  it also made us a little more skeptical of getting in the water to see the sea turtle who makes his home off our beach by that reef just off the end of my feet.

we explored the island, hiking with Hike Maui to a 480 foot waterfall near Hana you see in the top picture.  i should clarify, she RAN the 4 mile hike about three times while i meandered, shaking trees to get guava and foraging for passion fruit and ginger flowers to suck like the honeysuckle of my childhood summers.

we at delicious food, basked in the warm sun, laughed and laughed, and all too soon it was over and seemed, at least for me, like a five day dream.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Love me mountains

We went to Denali National Park and went flight seeing....could have touched the mountain we flew so close to the North face....but looking the opposite direction, the colors were INCREDIBLE.
No doctoring done, i swear.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

a flying leap off the blog bandwagon

blogging, fail.

i would love to pretend that the reason i haven't been blogging is because we haven't been doing anything, that i have been lazily lying around at home, that i have been soaking in the sun.  Truly, for most of June, i was soaking in the sun--here in Anchorage--i know, it's hard to believe i am saying that.

The last weekend in June i needed to attend a meeting in Seattle, so i called up Court, demanded she let me crash on her couch and soaked up her amazing spirit for two days.  she always has couches that demand visitors love them.  we reminisced about dus moving in unexpectedly five years ago and how lucky we've been since then.  we walked around capitol hill and found this guy spread out in the window, inhibitionless.

by the way, if reincarnation exists--which i doubt--this wouldn't be so bad.

the thing about summer is it always makes me a little nostalgic.  i find myself seeking out old friends, strengthening old bonds, making sure the little pieces of me that were left around the world are still with their rightful owners.  it fills up my heart and sets me at peace.  but it's a tricky beast, nostalgia, because you have to remember your choices, reaffirm and own them. 

so, here's to the summer of my reconnection....and if you have a little piece of my heart that hasn't touched base in a while--give a girl some love.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

dear n.k. you created a monster.

Dear N.K.:

You came to visit and she loved you will all 55lbs of allergy inducing fluff she had.  You taught her a new trick, to shake; and while she pretended she didn't get it, I would like to present you with a story adam just told me:

Lately, at night Neah has been getting up at 3:30am and whining.  While i pretend to ignore her, adam takes her downstairs, checks to see that she doesn't want to go outside, that she has food and water and then gives up and comes back to bed.  She wanders to his side of the bed, whimpers in the dark, and then this happens:

yeah, seriously, she puts her paw up in the air and holds her hand out like she wants a treat. he reaches out his hand and she puts her paw in it and stares intently and expectantly at him, and whines.

You've created a shaking, treat wanting, middle of the night monster.
just thought you should know.


Friday, May 3, 2013

Reasons for spare keys, a list

  1. When you are sick your brain doesn't function, you are a keyless idiot;
  2. When you husband is in Fairbanks all day, he can't help said keyless idiot;
  3. When you spare key keeper is in Denver, he can't help either;
  4. When you gave the last spare key to the cleaning lady and she hid it somewhere you can't find, calling her names doesn't make you less of a keyless idiot;
  5. When you take your key off your key chain so your AWESOME house guests can use it and then forget to put it back in the right place, you, yourself, sick girl, completed the prerequisites for the title of keyless idiot.

In case it wasn't self-evident, I locked myself out of the house.  It was a particularly genius move, since I left the garage entry door unlocked the first time I went out and then deliberately went back to lock it.  Brilliant.  Worse yet, was that I didn't realize it until I was at my office to grab documents for a mediation and couldn't figure out which key unlocked the door because i usually gauge it in relation to the house key. See number one above.

This leaves me, however, with time to kill now that the legal part of my brain turned off and I am unable to enter the house until Adam gets back from square-banks in like an hour. 

Have I told you yet that our old plasma TV died? Adam says it was because it didn't like having to play the Vampire Diaries, but i told him that was just an ugly thing to say---Damon is eye-candy, so clearly that show isn't to blame.  Anyways, this resulted in a near death experience for Devin, who had to help Adam lift the 400 lb contraption off the wall. The next day, I come home and it is dismantled and Adam is staring at lots of tiny white little fuses, making noises that I could have sworn sounded like angsty squeeks (but he would deny--insert martha melodrama comment here) about not being able to tell on site if they were blown.  You see, the internets--all of them--had told us that when there was a "pop" followed by "no picture but sound" on one's "plasma" it meant that some board or fuse in the back XSUS or YSUS something had blown out. guess you need a fuse tester or something.

Anyways, the end result was me sitting on the floor in fred meyer, then best buy, then walmart, then target staring at TVs which basically have NO difference at all scrutinizing the resolution when my face is three inches from it (rather than the ten feet it is at home) and reading specs about refresh rates and blah blah blah.  So, there's a new TV, which is the largest that will fit on the wall (because god forbid we don't get the biggest one that will fit) and it somehow connected itself to the internet--genius smart TV. Please feel free to come ooh and aaah at the TV (and its warranty plan). oh yea, but i can't go watch it because---ready for it--i'm locked out.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

the one where company is allergic to the dog....

she wants so badly for them to love her. she can hardly stand it, trying her best to win their affection with gifts of stuffed animals and attempts at cuddles.  you can see the confusion in her eyes when these efforts don't elicit the kind of love she had hoped, her crushed heart as she walks away.  its official.  neah is in love with devin and neda, and sadly, they are both allergic to her.
which of course means that the only place in the world she wants to be is:
on top of neda.  poor woman.

I've had a couple great weeks of seeing people i adore. i am fairly certain that there is a direct correlation between this seeing of people i love and the cessation of nail chewing  (read devouring) that has occurred. while adam may find this a tenuous connection at best, i am pretty certain it means that either (1) everyone we know needs to live in alaska or (2) i need a teleporter. feel free to register your vote in the comments.  alternatively, i am open to other suggestions.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

travelling--aka adventures in disaster--aka why i hate american airlines.

i've been on the move a lot lately.  so has adam. its been ten days since i have seen him in fact.
i fled alaska in search of warmer weather (and a deponent), but it just followed me to the midwest.
before i get into the long story of Murphy, his #(*$(&#_ laws, and my flight schedule, let me first tell you that one of my favorite artists is Pablo Picasso. in particular, i love his blue period. love might be an understatement, i would cover the walls of the house with it, hibernate in it, mourn in it, and generally have a totally overblown emo-reaction to it. i get lost in brush strokes, blending techniques, and line/structure.

then i pine for the fact that i used to live in cities with incredible art museums, operas, plays, and architecture. the art institute of chicago is truly lovely. i wished i had more hours and less jet lag as i stood there.

anyways. the point of this blog is actually the story of how much i hate both American Airlines and United. I should have known the whole trip was going to go sideways on me when i arrived at the anchorage airport and discovered a troop of 6-10 year old cheerleaders and their yoga-pant wearing, leopard print carry-on dragging mothers at my gate.  Flight number one was therefore a red eye with screaming mothers and their terrible daughters.

gratefully, flight two passed uneventfully.  i spent the weekend in chicago, soaking up the city, breathing in all those things i talked about above that fill me with life, joy and creativity. the last night i went to check in to my flight to wichita and discovered that i didn't have a flight to wichita. i had a flight to tulsa. ok. great. except i don't want to go to tulsa and i had a flight to wichita two days before. so i call american. i'm on hold for half an hour which they sort out what happened. seriously. they keep coming on every five minutes to tell me they are working on it. you know its bad when it takes half an hour to sort out and when they come back they tell you that you will just have two departures and they will sort it out at the airport. great.

flight three: didn't exist, then did, just grateful it took off....since every flight after it out of o'hare got delayed by HOURS. See, the thing is that i forgot that wichita is in kansas and it is FLAT there. Flat, but warm the first day i am in town--i run around in a t-shirt and work from my hotel room.  Day two a huge storm front comes through "winter storm wanda" and my 70 degree weather drops 30 degrees in an hour.

its mid day tuesday, so i decide to reconfirm my early flight out the next morning--its bright and early so that i can get back into anchorage at a decent hour.  only, when i log in, i don't have a flight from wichita anymore. i only have a flight from chicago to anchorage. Yup. that's right. they somehow deleted my flight out. Back on the phone with American--this time it only takes 25 minutes to sort it out. Flight four, fail number one.

Remember that winter storm, here we go.....By the time i am done with the deposition Tuesday evening and trying to eat dinner, flight four blows up AGAIN. my 6am flight out is cancelled--bring on the ice storm.  i'm in applebees, on the phone with American again....and yes, its another an hour. no more direct flight home, we are going through Chicago (we=me and my new attitude problem). Flight four, fail number two.

Flash forward to the next morning, Wed. at 7am.  Beep Beep goes the phone. Flight four, fail number three. DELAY sufficient to miss the flight to Anchorage. So, its early, i call American again. Here's where i get really angry. After holding for half an hour, someone comes on, gets all my information, and the decides my itinerary is too complicated and throws me to the back of the queue. Not even kidding. so i hold, the next person comes on, and it happens again, she throws me to the back of the queue after hearing where i'm going.  the coversation went "hold one second for me....*music* thank you for calling American Airlines, your call will be answered in the order it was received in roughly 45 minutes". HOLY #)(*&$#)$, are you kidding me?!?! i am livid.

so i get in the car (once i remove the layer of ice off it with my credit card, swearing the whole time) and drive to the airport (still swearing), where i manage to abandon my cell phone and gloves at the rental car desk for half an hour (panicked swearing). anyways, i finally get up to the counter and the lovely girl there (i mean this, she is the only part of American that doesn't suck) reworked my flights and hooked me up with first class from minneapolis home. oh yeah, now the route is dallas minneapolis anchorage. I breathe for the first time in hours and go to find food (swearing ceases and i return to polite ma'am-ing of people). two hours later phone goes BEEP BEEP. Flight four, fail four.  Back to the ticket counter where some asshole guy cops an attitude with me--wrong thing to do. i explain in no uncertain terms that i don't care how he does it, but that i was done flying american and he needed to get me out of there NOW. AND, just so we are clear, i don't give a shit about the weather, i get that delays happen, what i have a problem with is the incredibly awful customer service of american airlines. Sure enough, United to Denver and then anchorage direct. Okay. flight four might happen after all.

I'm going to fast forward through the delay, some guy's oxygen tank beeping like a mack truck backing up for twenty minutes, some guy on the plane making fart noises at a baby for another twenty minutes, and people singing barney and just tell you that i made it to Denver, where i have never been more grateful to see an airport with more than 5 gates. I eat a yummy dinner at some french place. I head to the gate and the flight is boarding, all seems to be going well. i get in line and then the inevitable happens. "ladies and gentlemen on the flight to anchorage, we do not seem to have a captain for this flight. We are going to postpone boarding while we sort this out." Flight five, mini-fail. how do you not have a pilot? seriously? two hours later, United locates a captain and i am finally on my way home, praying to God, Satan, Barbie, anyone, that the plane doesn't crash.

i can say with absolute sincerity, i have never been happier to arrive in anchorage. ever. Also, i now have two travel rules: 1. NO AMERICAN AIRLINES.  2. NO MIDWEST EVER AGAIN.

Friday, March 15, 2013

7am Airplane Etiquette

There is something simultaneously empowering and debilitating about getting up at 5:30am to catch a flight to Fairbanks  where the trusted phone assures me it is -11C.  What it was definitely not was an experience, the second in as many weeks, where i felt like being nice to strangers halfway through my first cup of coffee.

I wandered onto the plane and sat down next to an octogenarian and her fifty something year old daughter. the old lady peered up at me with the evil eye, as if my having the window seat was somehow eroding her joy and as if i had beaten her with a club and taken it. Not to be daunted by this evil eye at the crack of dawn, i politely smiled and said good morning, refusing to let my business day tripper swagger be tainted by this woman.

The next blow to my fragile ego came when i turned on the light to do the cross-word however. I could swear that the old lady not only gave me the stink-eye but actually tsked at me!  who does that??

So, i am making some rules and you should all feel free to add to the list. here's the shit you have no business doing to other people on airplanes:

  1. glaring at people for existing. bad call. if it weren't the fast, i might just hit you. 
  2. tsk at me because i use my american-given right (since freedoms and rights are interchangeable around here) turn on the light on the plane. 
  3. touch people. no one did that to me. but i am pretty sure it should be a rule. unless they are very  attractive, consenting, adult (q, i'm talking to you), and married to you if you are married.
  4. drop your seat back at the exact same moment the flight attendant hands out drinks in the row behind you. yes. you in 7d--you are either evil or evil. either way--i am talking to you. thiiiiiiiis close to a lap full of someone else's drink thanks to you. nothing ruins business swag like drink covered pants in a city without a decent mall.
  5. sticking your entire body in front of the window for 20 minutes. share the window people, you don't need to try to lean out it to see. i mean, i am not asking for you to tell me if you see moose, i would just like to know there's land out there. 
  6. what am i missing folks??

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

its the introspective time of year

it is baha'i fast month. for reference see previous blogs here and here and here. no food or drink from sunrise to sunset. i try not to swear as much. this year, i have found myself having an easier go of it than before. i'm not really hungry, nor am i having the 2 pm crash. i didn't have the awful caffeine headaches. none of the eating the most enormous dinner i can find!

i have however been more than a little introspective. i find myself spending a lot of time thinking about who i am in my head, my past, my current life--trying to discern if i am still the same girl i believe i am. in my head, i am always the girl in the picture--lost in the adventure, constantly changing smells, sounds, faces and places, pushing to understand more, feel more, be more.  the nomad part of me calmed down while we were in thailand and i felt like i exhaled for the first time in a long time.

so the question becomes goals and how to maintain that peace--when we are so far away from our friends and loved ones. part of that has been taking more time for spiritual things. part of that has been getting more exercise. part of that has been remembering who i want to be and being that person--fearless and strong.

so, here's to this time of year when i can see clearly, believe clearly and reconnect with my soul.

Friday, January 18, 2013


love oliphants. the art kind and the real ones.
 and oliphants love sugarcane.

 and saying hello!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

if it has eight eyes, it should die.

So i love Thailand because it is beautiful, and warm, and my skin doesn't feel all pins and needles from being too dry.

I love Thailand because the people are kind. PS--let's have a chat TSA in Seattle about not being assholes for no good reason, read no reason, on a sunday morning. PPS--why is everyone in the seattle airport a grump-tastic mess?

I love Thailand because i can eat a full meal for like $2.50 cents in the north. and eat more than my share of green curry i did.

I love Thailand because i can swim without feeling like i might die of hypothermia either in or after getting out of the water.

I love Thailand because i can find anything i could ever need in a market if i am willing to brave weekend craziness.

huntsman--the size of my hand.

I do not love thailand for these guys:
orb weaver (we think)

Anyone who knows my husband knows he likes to set the spiders free when we find them in the house. I, on the other hand, am pretty sure setting them free means they are going to return in my bed and eat me. therefore, all spiders should die--the sneaky bastards. so, when adam came into our treehouse in the Mae Taeng valley wilderness and announced that there was a huge spider in the bathroom, you have to understand i was legitimately concerned. he never, ever, calls spiders huge--even the orb weaver we saw earlier in the day that was like coffee cup sized.  define huge, i said. huge, said adam with a serious look on his face, hunting for something i had hoped would be used to kill the "huge" spider. instead, he picked up the camera (again, not a good sign) and my slipper (gifted to me by emma who stole it from some hotel and the current prized possession) and headed back to the adjoining outdoor bathroom. a flash and some banging ensued and adam returned to tell me he had scared it away. "it jumped out the back wall."

number one---WTF. since when do spiders the size of a chihuahua jump out a hole in the wall.
number two--the answer to where was it happened to be, oh right by the toilet.
number three--congratulations, instead of killing the spider, you now get to watch me pee for the rest of our stay in case the dog/spider returns.
number four--the next day at breakfast, he tells everyone how he had no idea where it went. nice. good job lying to your wife. uck.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

this post could alternatively be titled:
2. adam lives in the pool; or
3. it was all good until the spider showed up.

for the record:  i love the Andaman sea. I am pretty sure i could just be a sea gypsy, floating to my heart's content and living off coconuts and fish i caught with a spear.

As many of you know, on xmas day we left seattle for a stint in thailand. teh trip was well needed because we discovered around thanksgiving that i was going to be laid off from Liberty.  the hunt for a new gig is in progress. So, off to se asia we went and we were lucky to have the gracious hospitality of a friend from law school, abe. he did his best to keep adam from being molested by lady boys and me from getting run over by vehicles in the street.
"Jesus rays on A Buddhist temple?" queried Adam.
Bangkok is a large bustling city that only partially ever feels like southeast Asia to just lacks the grit of Manila and has instead way too many old white men accompanied by too young Thai women. Clearly, white exploitation of former colonies is still alive and kicking. Never-the-less, i love Thai architecture and its Buddhist sentimentality. outside every building is a household shrine to which offerings of fanta, juice, and sweet pastries are in a never ending supply. Seems the universe has a sweet tooth. The other thing that always strikes me is the combination of old and new, ornate and modern, a juxtaposition without moderation or middle ground.

Bang Pa-In Summer Palace

We traveled around quite a bit this trip. After visiting Ayyuthaya and the Summer Palace, we went down south to Phuket for New Years.
Truthfully, we were staying in Patong, which i will never do again. it was too touristy for my tastes, but did make for memorable new years eve--thousands of people on the beach, lighting off lanterns, sending their hopes skyward for the new year.

We set off ours and i was surprised to find that my hopes didn't rest on a new job or the dog not acting like an idiot--i'm going to not tell you my wish, but you should know that my lantern floated highest in the sky as it went off into the distance.

My heart felt full and calm. We headed the next day off to the north--out 60 km north of Chaing Mai to somewhere up a tree. Seriously.
More pictures of that and a top ten list in the next post :)