Today, after running some errands that had been going by the wayside for months, i went to the zoo with Tia, Laila and Zia. Only thing was, i was running on the time said is the time you show up and they were running on everything-is-taking longer than planned time. Which meant i got to people watch at the zoo entrance for a bit. I was busily watching this cute little kid when yelling started beside me.
The parents were hissing back and forth at each other. Their two girls--probably 9 and 11 looked mortified. Back and forth they went about who's fault why they werent' paying attention a car was, who was a bigger nag and who couldn't "take it anymore". The younger daughter hissed at them to shush, held her father's hands in her own to try to distract him. You could feel their hearts falling. Finally, the four of them wandered back towards the car yelling as they went.
I have never seen my parents argue. Don't get me wrong, i have no doubt they probably did. They are very different people and i cannot imagine they agree on everything. Still, there was a united front put forward. That united front helps me believe in the strength of marriage...in its place as secure and stable...a team. That's what i want for my family and for myself as well.
Anyone out there have suggestions about how to do this??
sounds like you have the essence down:
ReplyDeleteNEVER argue in front of the kids - always present a united front
including, NEVER question the other parent's parenting choices in front of the children (that one can get tricky - cause we tend to always think WE know best)
I've learned over the years that being a mother is VERY different than being a father, and that's why we're a TEAM (yin and yang kind of thing). And I'm struggling to stay humble enough to realize that I don't know the first thing about fathering (and it's not my job anyway), so I best support my husband in his endeavors to be the best father he can.
Hope you're doing well.
Love, Lee
I feel slightly differently - I think showing your children you can disagree AND RESOLVE issues is good. That said...technique is everything. And I agree, undermining your spouse is certainly a lose/lose situation. And SOOO not easy! Yeah, on every other point I agree.
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