Thursday, March 8, 2012

Mar's a big girl: adventures in home buying update

in sum: i know. you have all patiently waited for me to come up with some news that didn't involve a snide remark about a bank that will not be named (but who's first word rhymes with bells) and the extraordinary amount of time it is requiring for them to review our offer. Sadly, while i have jealously watched my friend sjona buy a lovely house, there has been little to no movement on our end.

quick recap: it is a 3 bed 1.5 bath condo with a yard. it is a short sale---we pay some and the sellers make up the difference (short). this little arrangement has to be approved by their bank, making for the oh so ironically named "short sale" because it is the longest of any kind of house sale. We started this process in.....early January i think? the upside for us is that we would achieve instant equity in the property, which would be wonderful. and this place is a full current apartment bigger than anywhere else we have seen that didn't look like a methlab.

the long version: after the request yesterday, from the "bells ergo" bank, that we resend some documents that were definitely in the massive initial packet, i've come to the conclusion that 1. someone lost all our stuff and has been recollecting it slowly, or 2. they are stalling for some reason i can't figure out, or 3. both. at any rate the result is that i threatened to figure out how to make a voodoo doll bank yesterday and decided NOT to thank God for this test in patience. clearly this was not the best idea--the not thanking God part, in my fasting delerium, not the fact that i can't make a voodoo bank--because then neah got on my dad's last nerve and mine which has no other logical explanation than bad karma for my stubborn screw-the-universe-ness. yeah? yeah. add to that the table next to us at teppanyaki had a actual baby chicken inside one of the eggs and i learned my lesson.

lesson learned: be grateful there aren't baby chickens in your eggs because coveting thy someone else's houses/processes/dinners will lead to grossness.

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