Fasting, day 4.

It is that time of year, where i tell you all how much i hate you, your lattes, and your lunches. where i tell you how strange it feels to not have a caffeine-deprivation headache at 11am. where i talk about how much colder i am when there are no snacks in my tummy. where i try to remember the things i knew at some point in time during this blog. and where it tell you how calm and at peace my soul feels.

I'm going to recycle 2010 instead: 19 days where i will try to focus on something other than my incessant need for sugar and coffee. 19 days, where i will try to rise above. The rules are simple: focus on something other than physical needs, don't eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset, try to maintain a prayerful state. I've found most religions have a form of fasting. Ours looks most like Ramadan in its practice. It's a month i love--it always brings clarity, focus, and determination. I get to pour my stubborn will into something worthwhile. I think of it like exercise--feel the burn, know you are doing the work. Refocus, meditate, find time for my soul.

Fasting is not an easy endeavor for anyone. It is truly a mind over matter exercise that forces you to be more vigilant with your thoughts and to draw from the depths of your self-restraint and detachment. In my head i am still on the roof of the Mansion at Bahji. In my heart, i am there and here--with my family. God has been very gracious to me this year and Bob and Lissa are here for almost all of the fast to share it with me. 

So , i wish each of you well during this period of refreshing one's soul. I am eagerly awaiting the new year, new adventures, and hopefully lots of laughter. 

spring break, what?

So, it finally occurred to me on Monday that next week is Spring Break at Law School. This SHOULD mean that i go somewhere tropical and warm, lie in the sun, sip virgin pina coladas and attempt to get Vitamin D the natural way. I SHOULD be exploring ruins in some far flung land, whirring around an island on a moped, or riding in a tuk-tuk. I SHOULD be sleeping and napping my days away leisurely. Last spring break, we went to Vegas for a couple days...where i did in fact lie in the sun. Here's a last year pic: I know you can't tell, but its at the Bellagio...watching the really dope water show.

Reality always being a creature by far different from my imagination (as Adam is quite likely to tell you), this will not be the case this year. However! After quite the drought of snow--since we thought we were having spring and all the cherry blossoms bloomed--the cold set back in this week and it is once again dumping snow at my favorite ski resort nearby: http://www.stevenspass.com/Stevens/info/mountain-cams.aspx. Since i have no reason to study on Sunday maybe there's a weekend run up the mountain in the making. It would be my first trip up this winter (in part due to too much going on and in part due to the robo-thumb). And we did just get Adam's grad present from me--a new Burton deck--that needs a break-in.

My spring break will be spent at work--and working on outlines for my classes. Since i'm full time this semester in addition to the full time jobbie job, i feel like i really need to get a running start and not leave all this outlining and comprehension stuff to the last minute. This summer I am taking an online class...so for the first time since 2007, i will not have to go to school physically over the summer. IT'S AMAZING.

Adam got a couple of interviews in Alaska for April. We are hoping a few more will contact him in the meantime...which makes this moving thing all the more real. Anchorage, for better or worse, it seems you are my future home. Please say some prayers....it would be amazing if we could get this to all work out--jobs, bar, etc. If you happen to be in Anchorage and know of some hiring law firms or contacts, send um along.

In fasting news, I apparently don't have to answer any questions in Family Dissolution while i am fasting. I am exempted...which is great, but now i know i don't have to read either ;)  I also need to find a scale...it's possible  i've gotten close enough to the bad number that i need to check. You'd think, since i hang out in a hospital 8 hrs a day that i could manage that, but so far, no luck. If anyone knows where one is hiding let me know.

from my basement office....i bid you farewell.

fasting ADD

I'm not sure if it's a benefit or a detriment, but my Sunday all day studying is now severely inhibited by the Fast. Granted, lots of prayer breaks are good, but i can't sit still long enough to get through all my reading without falling asleep.

This means that yesterday I was a domestic goddess. First a preliminary note, i am NOT domestic. I am NOT good at cleaning, cooking, or getting my room in shape. As a child, my parents told me that if I wanted them to come tuck me in at night, then i had better make a path through the toys/clothes/books strewn about. Path it was. So, by "domestic goddess" i mean the following:

DURING MY STUDYING:
1. I vaccuumed both my room and the living room.
2. I did 6 loads of laundry (including comforter and sheets)
3. I cleaned my bathroom.
4. I took out the garbage and recycling.
5. I made a pot roast.
6. I made banana bread using this recipe.

Nana Bread:

3-4 smooshed ripe nanas

3/4 cup of sugar

1/3 cup butter melted

1 egg

1 tbs vanilla

1tbs baking soda

pinch of salt

1.5 cups of flour

smoosh nanas and butter, add sugar/egg/vanilla, add baking soda and salt, add flour. Pour into loaf pan and bake for 45 minutes at 350. The recipie i was working from said an hour and i took it out at 52 minutes and it was a little overdone on the bottom....still edible, but i would recommend between 45-50 minutes.
Definitely best served warm with butter. MMMM.

lessons i seem to forget yearly

So, while everyone else is busy posting that they feel great fasting--I'm going to admit the dirty truth, my soul feels great, my body is starting to adjust to lack of stimulants. Day one wasn't bad--aside from relearning the things below. Luckily, all of you have showered me with encouragement and enthusiasm--which helped the day move along :) I think i talked to God yesterday more than i had in quite a while, which when you get right down to it is the point of this...so score one for the home team.

Today is a bigger test for me because of the 5 hr block of class tonight. Here we go!! In the meantime, however, i thought i would share a few lessons i seem to be incapable of remembering any time in the last 15 years i've been doing this:

1. do not eat everything in sight the minute the sun goes down. it WILL result in a tummy ache.

2. do not eat everything in sight at second dinner 3 hrs later. it WILL result in a tummy ache. yes, this does make me essentially a hobbit--but i'm not into filling up my stomach in the morning so that by noon it growls and churns.

3. do not try to chug cold water on an empty stomach. it WILL result in a tummy ache.

4. between the hours of 1 and 6 i will be useless and am prone to amble around the office with no clear sense of direction.

5. i'm always really cold. like, i basically sit ontop of my desk heater wearing my turtleneck and fleece.

6. no matter how much i amble around talking about no food--i will still be on the office distribution list announcing the tasty treats in the kitchen. damn them. damn you all (Jay).

Farewell my lunch...

and more importantly, farewell my caffine IV.

Tomorrow starts the Baha'i Fasting Month. 19 days where i will try to focus on something other than my incessant need for sugar and coffee. 19 days, where i will try to rise above. The rules are simple: focus on something other than physical needs, don't eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset, try to maintain a prayerful state. I've found most religions have a form of fasting. Ours looks most like Ramadan in its practice. It's a month i love--it always brings clarity, focus, and determination. I get to pour my stubborn will into something worthwhile. I think of it like exercise--feel the burn, know you are doing the work. Refocus, meditate, find time for my soul.

The truth is i've struggled pretty hard with this over the years. I have always wanted to make it through the whole month fasting--i've only managed it twice. There are a list of exceptions to fasting--including doctor's orders--which is where i get in trouble. According to my doctors, i'm banned from fasting. I have a hard time sustaining my body weight (as my eating of immense amounts of junk doesn't actually help me add weight it just holds me steady at a whopping 102). Usually after a week to 10 days i lose those 2 safety pounds, plumt into double digits and have to go back to eating something for lunch so that my pants don't fall off me.

My professors (one of whom will have to deal with my brainless and two of whom will have to deal with me coming in and out of class to pray) have been duly notified--and are sympathetic--one is in Lent right now, one lived in Egypt, and the other is my Law and Religion professor--who seems to be hoping to hold it together for the most part in there, as i am the voice of many things unmainstream :)

And so it begins.